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Friday, February 16, 2007

Smokey Briggs

Sage Views

By Smokey Briggs

Why women should not
be allowed to vote

Democracy has failed, and this country is turning into a dung heap.

But, I think we can still salvage it.

All we have to do is take away women’s voting rights.

I know, if you attended the public indoctrination camps we call schools you were taught for 12 or more years that democracy can only be good - that it cannot fail.

Well it’s not, and it can. Actually, it can be one of the most evil forms of government ever created.

That is why Jefferson and his buddies created the Constitution, which is nothing more than a set of rules to protect us from the evils that come along with democracy.

To work, democracy has to be something more than two coyotes and a chicken voting on what to have for lunch.

Since we allowed women to vote, that is exactly what we have transformed this country into - a bunch of coyotes and chickens voting on lunch.

Since women were allowed to vote we have transformed our Constitution from a set of rights pounded in stone into a touchy-feely mess of pseudo-rights that can vanish as quickly as they were created, depending on what political hack gets appointed to the Supreme Court next week.

Democracy without an iron-clad constitution becomes two coyotes and a chicken voting on lunch.

The slow death of property rights, as redefined regularly by the Supreme Court, the federal and state legislatures, and the rest of the judiciary, is the supreme example.

When Jefferson and company wrote the Constitution, a person’s property rights were sacred.

If you could grab a time machine and transport that bunch of rebels to 2007, I would bet my eyeteeth that they would look around, and promptly go home and call off the revolution.

Even King George could not dream up the assault on private property that our supposedly wonderful democratic process has created.

The system we have today is simple majority rule - get 51 percent of the elected crooks to vote for your idea, and Shazam! the coyotes are eating fried chicken.

Or, the coyotes are doing what they like with your property.

The newest push to create a “smoke-free Texas” is the perfect example of such evil.

The anti-smoking Nazi’s newest plan is to outlaw smoking in “public” places. The only problem is that this bunch of larcenous do-gooders defines public property to include private businesses as well - and everything else but your own home - so far.

I have news for these little Hitler’s-in-training - they do not own my property.

And, basic property rights demand that the owner of the property determine what use he or she will or will not make of it. Or they used to.

But, discouraging smoking is good, right?

Even if it is, and I might disagree, so what?

The ends cannot justify the means.

The ethical and legal logic behind this silliness is simple - “We (the majority) have decided that smoking is bad. Hence we can take away property owner’s rights to discourage something we say is bad. It’s a matter of public health.”

That may sound nice when it comes to smoking, but what is good for the goose is good for the gander.

By the same principle, there are a lot of other cool laws next year’s majority can pass. You ganders might not like this batch of laws nearly so well.

The one I am going to push for is repealing women’s voting rights. All I need is a majority of already paid for congressional crooks.

I can justify this legislation with the exact same logic used by the anti-smoking Nazi’s, since the Constitution is a “living document meant to change with the times” (that’s sarcasm folks). The reasoning is simple.

Women, genetically, are unreasonable creatures, that were not subject to the same selective pressures that men were as our species evolved. Unreasonable, illogical men were eliminated from the gene pool by lions and their fellow hunters since they tended to get themselves, and their buddies, eaten by big things with teeth.

Illogical women, as primarily gatherers and baby tenders, were not eliminated from the gene pool - at least not so strictly.

Hence, women, as a species, are illogical.

And, illogical people are dangerous when you let them vote. (Hard to argue with that).

So, as a matter of public health, women need to be stripped of their voting rights.

(I point to the state of this country after 70-plus years of women’s voting as absolute proof.)

Since rights, such as property rights, can be violated in the name of public health, such as my right to control what happens or does not happen on my property, I see no Constitutional problem with my proposed law.

Do you?

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