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Weekly Newspaper and Travel Guide
for Pecos Country
of West Texas
Opinion
Friday, December 15, 2006
Sage Views
By Smokey Briggs
Are humans smarter
than lemmings?
I have a theory that goes something like this: human beings are a lot like lemmings - which are those silly little furry creatures that live where it is really cold and, when their population starts getting too large they stage a communal suicide party by jumping off of icy cliffs to a cold death.
Unfortunately, lemming mass suicide is a myth propagated by the Walt Disney film “White Wilderness” that reportedly depicted a mass suicide using staged footage where they drove a bunch of tame lemmings into the sea.
Makes you wonder what other whoppers Uncle Walt’s company told under the guise of entertainment and education.
I also guess lizard kissers were not around back then, or we might now call them lemming lovers instead of lizard kissers.
According to the scientific data on the All-Knowing Internet, lemmings are rodents, and like rodents, occasionally experience population explosions from a little too much lemming loving.
When this happens, they, like other rodents, have a mass exodus, forging out in huge groups in all directions, looking for food.
Lemmings, it turns out, are not suicidal, but do have poor eyesight, which is why they sometimes jump into rivers and oceans that they cannot possibly swim across.
Too bad, because that throws my theory about lemming and human behavior being similar out the window.
Lemmings are just guilty of uncontrolled lemming passion during the very cold artic winter when the sun never rises combined with very bad eyesight.
If only man were only guilty of such.
With my new knowledge of lemmings I have revised my theory to this: When man has plenty to eat and breeds too much, a lot of stupid people survive.
From the looks of things, this will eventually lead to some kind of mass suicide, or perhaps a population of humans to stupid to breathe without regular reminders.
Don’t believe me?
Take a minute and watch the one-eyed lobotomy box in your living room while the so-called national news is broadcasting.
I made that mistake recently, and I am now amazed that so many obviously brain damaged people manage to tie their own shoes every morning.
Of course, they may just use Velcro, which would explain much.
Lets see, in the past 72 hours or so we had: A Chinese city councilman from New York offended because a lesbian talk show host named Rosie O’Donnell did some kind of skit where she parodied somebody speaking Chinese with the usual, “Wong, ting, ling wang, ping,” of old Bugs Bunny cartoons and such.
Now, if the irony involved in this eludes you, you have no sense of humor - as a matter of fact, you may be dead. Check your pulse.
Personally it gives me great joy that “Tubby” O’Donnell is getting some heat - I cannot stand her or her communist politics.
Never thought she did anything funny either, but I’m laughing now.
But really, does Mr. Chinese City Councilman not have anything better to do than whine about Tubby’s bad rendition of somebody speaking Wu?
Doesn’t he have a job, or a family, or a hobby, or a gerbil? Something?
This is just stupid.
Then we have the rabbi in Washington complaining about the Christmas trees and no Menorahs at the Seattle airport.
The story is all twisted now - they say and he says, and who knows - but the fact of the matter is, he said something, and the bureaucrats at the airport took all the Christmas trees down so nobody would be offended.
As far as I’m concerned, everybody involved needs a regular note to remember to breathe, and I would suggest quarantining them away from the rest of society lest their stupidity be contagious.
What really ticks me off, and nobody mentioned this, is that the bureaucrats spent tax money on the dang Christmas trees in the first place.
Then, there is this jewel, recently signed into law by that shining example of human intellect, our elected leader and Commander in Chief, President George W. Bush - a law making it illegal to annoy someone on the Internet unless you use your real name.
No kidding - it is now a federal crime if you annoy somebody via the Internet and don’t sign off on your annoying whining with your real name.
Here is the actual language of this gem of social legal reform: "Whoever...utilizes any device or software that can be used to originate telecommunications or other types of communications that are transmitted, in whole or in part, by the Internet... without disclosing his identity and with intent to annoy, abuse, threaten, or harass any person...who receives the communications...shall be fined under title 18 or imprisoned not more than two years, or both."
Wow, I feel safer already. Thanks guys.
Actually, I think I’ve proven my point - too many stupid people are being allowed to breed and their even stupider offspring are not being set out to die at birth.
Then, these malignantly stupid people are gravitating toward the jobs that even the village idiot can do without getting fired - television talk show hosts, politicians in general from city councilmen to president, and government bureaucrats in general.
Apparently, lemmings and other rodents start their marathons of death with no warning. One little dude jumps up and starts running and everybody else just follows instinctively.
Judging from the nightly news, our mass marathon to the cliffs cannot be far off.
I am going to start tying myself to the bed at night just in case the urge to follow the village idiot off the cliff is instinctive.
Your View
“So long for now, Dad”
AN OPEN LETTER TO THE COMMUNITY
It has been a few weeks since the death of my father, niece and step-grandmother. The tragedy that resulted in their deaths has been the lowest point in my life and while it seems almost impossible to move forward, I know that Dad would have wanted nothing less from his family.
In the days after the fire I found a journal written by my father. In it he offered advice to me by paraphrasing a Bible verse that I would like to share with the community: Romans 5:3-4, “Adversity is part of the process that God uses to produce good results in our lives”. This is advice from my father that I will forever cherish and do my best to follow.
Dad always had a strong faith in God -- and as a boy, I watched Dad kneel at the side of the bed every night to pray. As the years went by he no longer kneeled because I suspect it was getting harder and harder to get back up. However, he never stopped praying and giving thanks to God for all his blessings. While the current tragedy has tested my faith, Dad’s example of living is what kept me strong through the worst time of my life.
Dad was a good man -- honest, fair, caring, loving and humble. He was bi-partisan in politics, giving everyone a “seat at the table” and believing that everyone had a contribution to make -- no matter their status in life. While being bi-partisan was seen as less than desirable toward the end of his political career, he believed it was the right way to conduct himself and it served him well in life.
I would specifically like to recognize and thank the firemen and women of firehouse #36 and #25, the emergency medical service personnel and Dad’s neighbor, Rick Rodriguez who made the 911 call and so bravely attempted to put the fire out with Dad’s water hose. These individuals all selflessly put their own lives in danger to work to save my family. It is from the bottom of our hearts that my family and I sincerely thank and appreciate you all. I would also like to express my gratitude and commend the University Hospital medical staff for the care they provided to my family -- they were professional, caring and supportive during an extremely difficult time.
I have written this letter not to dwell on my emotions, but to simply thank everyone who offered their help, support and prayers in the hours and days after the fire. I initially attempted to thank everyone individually, but the massive outpouring of love, prayers and encouragement meant so much to my family and me -- and was so overwhelming, I quickly realized this task would be infinite. Not only have I recognized how blessed we are to have countless friends and family be there for us during this challenging time, but for total strangers to do the same, speaks volumes about the innate goodness in people, and about how much Dad was so genuinely loved by so many.
I pray that everyone has a blessed, safe and happy holiday season.
With sincere appreciation,
Dr. Frank L. Madla III
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Pecos Enterprise
York M. "Smokey" Briggs, Publisher
324 S. Cedar St., Pecos, TX 79772
Phone 432-445-5475, FAX 432-445-4321
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