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Smokey Briggs


By Smokey Briggs

Tuesday, April 3, 2001

Female behavior _ always a curiosity

I learned something about the female species the other day. Notice I say species. That is because I am pretty sure that men and women are not all that closely related.

What I learned is that women can be unconsciously deceitful when they perceive a competitive threat.

Here is how I learned this kernel of wisdom.

My buddy Dave was in town with his family unit. Dave and I are a good hunting team and so we set out after fresh meat for our families.

As usual, our prowess as hunters yielded meat for our mates and offspring.

Late that night, upon returning to the cave area, we hung the carcass of our prey high in a tree to prevent scavenging lions and bears from getting at it and then proceeded into the inner cave to inform our mates and offspring of the good news.

Our mates would not be able to contain their joy, we were sure.

A successful hunt is a time for great celebration and mates who are grateful for having such brave, strong husbands that provide so well for their families would probably want to rub our feet and serve us more fermented beverages as we regaled them with tales of our adventure.

It did not quite work out like that. Dave and I found only our young offspring truly interested in our adventure. Flung shoes and words unfitting for female pronunciation hastened us from our mates' sleeping quarters.

Puzzled over their behavior, Dave and I celebrated anyway and regaled our daughters with tales of the hunt. They, at least, were appreciative of the bravery and cunning of their dads.

Early the next morning, while slumbering deeply in the relaxed sleep brought on by great exertion, success, and celebration, we were rudely awakened before cockcrow by our mates.

They were not happy.

Finally we were made to understand that the source of their unhappiness was the dead animal hanging outside the cave.

Dejected and confused, we retrieved our prize and rehung it in the backyard, away from the prying eyes of our neighbors.

As I secured the rope, understanding dawned on me with the light of true wisdom, and then I explained our mates' behavior to Dave.

"Our mates' behavior is only natural," I said.


"Don't you see? First they act like they do not care that we bring home meat for the fire. Then they act like they do not want this fine animal hanging in the front yard."


"So. They are afraid that if word gets out about what great hunters we are, other women will try to lure us away from them with womanly charms."

"Oh." Dave said as comprehension dawned. "That makes sense."

"It does, doesn't it," I said, proud of my deduction.

"You really can't blame them," Dave said.

"No," I said. "If we had such a great prize as ourselves we would keep it hidden as well."

"You are as wise as you are strong," Dave said.

"Aye, we are both wise and strong and great hunters," I said. "Let us retire to the cave area. I bet our mates are cooking a special morning meal to quietly compliment us on our hunt and entice us to stay with them and bring meat to the cave."

And that is how I learned that women will say what they do not mean in an effort to prevent other women from finding out that they have a great husband that is strong and brave and a good hunter.

EDITOR'S NOTE: Smokey Brigss is the editor and publisher of the Pecos Enterprise whose column appears on Tuesdays. He can be e-mailed at:

Our View

China understands one language -- force

Last Sunday one of our P-3 Orion aircraft collided with a Chinese fighter. Knowing the quality and attitude of our air crews and the quality and attitude of Chinese pilots, it is doubtful that our craft was either in Chinese airspace or at fault in the collision as the Chinese government has claimed.

More likely the Chinese plane was flying too close, trying to intimidate our aircraft, and screwed up.

The Orion managed to crash land on a Chinese landing strip.

Now the Chinese are holding the 24-man crew prisoner and most likely going through the secret electronics on the aircraft. Hopefully the crew destroyed most of the sensitive equipment.

President Bush needs to take a strong stand in this situation. Eight years of politically expedient and weak foreign policy have created a world where 3rd-rate bullies like China think they can do practically anything without consequence.

Bush needs to prove that perception wrong.

There is only one acceptable outcome — our men and our airplane returned to us.


China is a bully on the world playground and bullies only understand one language _ pain.

Our response if China drags its feet should be immediate and President Bush should turn up the heat every day.

Trade sanctions should be escalated incrementally until China is under a complete blockade.

If sanctions do not work then force should be brought to bear.

Endless weeks of diplomatic dialogue are not the answer.

It was the constant mollification and coddling of a bullying Germany that encouraged a madman to start World War II.

Let's not repeat that mistake by handling China in the same way.

The United States is the most powerful nation in the world. We cannot be afraid to exercise that power to protect American interest. Especially when inaction will only encourage an already bold bully.

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York M. "Smokey" Briggs, Publisher
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