Daily Newspaper and Travel Guide
for Pecos Country of West Texas

Opinion

Sage
Views

By Smokey Briggs

Tuesday, November 28, 2000

SAGE

VIEWS

By Smokey Briggs

If men had to have babies…

How many times have you heard that trite bit of wisdom?

Too many times if you are a self-respecting man.

Now, before I get in too deep, let me make one thing clear - my wife is tough. I've "coached" her through two natural child births and anybody that can do that without screaming to be put out of their misery or kicking the baby doctor is just plain tough, and could probably stare down a grizzly bear or fry bacon in a bikini.

Coaching, by the way, is what husbands do while their wives have babies in the modern world.

How this is an improvement over the old, sit-in-the-waiting-room-and-pace-with-cigars method, is beyond me. The battlefields of World War II were quieter, less gory, and certainly less frightening places than the modern labor and delivery room.

Oh, and just as a tip for you rookies out there, Do Not correct your loving spouse's breathing method no matter what the silly birthing class instructor told you. Women apparently do not have the ability to take constructive criticism well while under stress.

If she wants to use the hee-hee-hoooo method when she technically should be using the hee-hoooo-hee technique, let her.

And do not revert to your old team spirit, football days, tone of voice and phraseology while encouraging her as her coach.

"Push you pansy, push," is apparently not considered inspirational in the feminine world despite what your line coach thought in high school.

And do not wear your wedding ring into that room. I learned this the hard way when my beautiful bride gripped my left hand during an early contraction and broke two fingers using my ring as sort of a mini anvil.

A good set of ear plugs - to block out any less-than-tactful utterances about you, the fact that your head is shaped like a pickle jar, and the fact that you must have passed this trait on to your offspring, is not a bad idea either, and might even be considered a marital aid.

Be all this as it may, if men had to have the babies, the human race would not be in danger of extinction.

But, the old fashioned way of birthing would have to go.

No, if men had to do it, some enterprising and very frightened young man years ago would have developed a better system - a less painful system that did not require nine months of discomfort before you get down to the pain-orama main event.

It is hard to tell exactly what this method would consist of, but it is a safe bet that it would involve a team sporting contest, lots of modern technology, a big four-wheel-drive truck, and a set time frame of about an hour.

Humans would not be extinct. But the scream, grunt, and curse your pickle-jar-shaped-head husband method definitely would be.
 

EDITOR'S NOTE: Smokey Briggs is the editor and publisher of the Pecos Enterprise whose column appears on Tuesdays. He can be e-mailed at: smokey@pecos.net
 

Our View

Merry Christmas Pecos

This Friday at 7:00 p.m. someone will flip a switch and lights will burn on the Pecos Community Christmas Tree located in the northeast corner of Maxey Park in the old swimming pool area.

The tree is a 30-foot pole from which strings of lights will be attached to make the tree.

First and second graders will be on hand to sing Christmas carols. Hot chocolate and cookies will be served. It will be fine way to mark the beginning of the holiday season in Pecos.

This tree is the Pecos Rotary Club's Christmas present to Pecos.

Club members have been selling strings of lights for months and the club has coordinated and financed the tree. The final price tag on the project will top several thousand dollars, not counting generous help from Texas New-Mexico Power Company, Reeves County, and Ivy's Electric, the electricians who are donating their time to wire in the necessary electrical service.

While a 30-foot Christmas tree strung with lights may not seem like much, anyone who has been involved with such a project can appreciate the amount of work involved. This Christmas present represents a lot of work, and a lot of love.

It is a fine Christmas present for Pecos.
 

Other Views

FCC wants you to pay more for your TV

They do. If the FCC has its way every American family that enjoys watching their favorite television show will soon have to pay up to $2000 for a new television. That's right, you will have to fork out more dollars because Washington bureaucrats think they have the right to tell Americans how to live their lives.

It's because the FCC wants TV to go digital overnight. Four years ago, Congress have broadcasters access to new wavelengths to launch new digital television service. The idea is to provide viewers with more options and a clearer and sharper picture. Since then, the FCC and Congress have been working to facilitate a transition from traditional analog television to digital television by 2003. But stations throughout the country still rely heavily on the analog channel to reach millions of viewers, especially those in rural areas of Texas.

The FCC, however, is interested in speeding up the transition process, without considering the consequences. They want to force the major networks into paying for airwaves they have used for free for over 50 years in hope of speeding up the transition to digital television. The FCC's excitement and anticipation of digital television is understandable, but like many of Washington's efforts, it is ill-conceived. And like many of the poor decisions made in Washington, the consumers _ your family _ are the ones who will pay in the end.

When the transition is complete, public television has plans to provide greater accessibility to educational and interactive programming for families, adult and children. However, if the FCC gets its way, this effort will be stalled considerably and this great new technology will never become reality.

The transition to digital television will be costly for broadcasters and the FCC is well aware of that. This is why Congress and the FCC initially agreed on a 2003 target date for the transition. The FCC is now stepping away from that agreement. Consumers will have to also invest in new technology to receive the new signals. If broadcasters turned off their analog channel today, it would mean that more than 200 million analog sets now in use would be obsolete and you would have to replace it at the cost of $2000 for a new TV.

The transition from analog to digital has been very successful to date. Currently, 158 digital station operate in 5.5 markets around the country. About 65 percent of television viewers have access to at least one local digital signal. This is a clear signal that the agreement made between Congress and the FCC is working.

Let's not let the FCC get trigger happy on this important issue . The result could be the shut down of televisions for millions of Americans.

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Pecos Enterprise
York M. "Smokey" Briggs, Publisher
Peggy McCracken, Webmaster
Division of Buckner News Alliance, Inc.
324 S. Cedar St., Pecos, TX 79772
Phone 915-445-5475, FAX 915-445-4321
e-mail news@pecos.net

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